watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
