when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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