I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Randomize
