Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize