So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
