she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
pray to the hookup gods
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
