Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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