I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
