I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
