I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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