Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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