If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
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