so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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