when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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