I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
