the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
