As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
