People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
