Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off

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(949): View more from California

She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them

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(256): View more from Alabama

do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!

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(231): View more from Michigan

You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches

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(775): View more from Nevada

It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning

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(630): View more from Illinois

He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.

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