I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Still dying that you shit outside
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
