Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Randomize
