Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Randomize
