Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
