the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
there is glitter all over my balls
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