therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
