No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
