Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
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