So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
only you would photoshop your dick
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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