gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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