We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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