that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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