counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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