Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
