we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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