Taylor Swift is so right about you.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
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