Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Randomize
