dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
It was confusing and full of hummus
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
