I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
