wanna go halves on a baby?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
