Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
