This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Randomize
