If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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