Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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