Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
birth control should be required to get into college
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize
