I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
