was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
