so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
