I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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