He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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