hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
