Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
