ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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