i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
